Gratitude and Wellness
Hello my wonderful readers (However many there are - maybe a few? Maybe none?)
So, I think it's a pretty well known fact that life isn't always easy. Actually, I think that life is NEVER easy...there is always challenges and areas where we're forced to grow due to some not so nice situations. Some of us maybe have less or more of those situations and to the person on the outside looking in it may look easy (or hard). Let me make one thing clear...It's not easy. EVERYONE deals with things. Yes, it's true. Life isn't easy and life isn't fair. That's the rule.
I've been doing a lot of thinking on why it looks easier for others. It's frustrating for me (i'm human!) to think that other have it easier than me and how it's just NOT fair. I did a little soul searching and I did a lot of thinking..
Why? Why is it that when you approach one of these people you think have an easy life and tell them they have it all together they laugh at you. Yes, they LAUGH. Because the truth is...they don't. They have strife and hard times too. Not only was that a shocking revelation to me...the next thought that followed was even more ground breaking...the "hard times" and "strife" they consume is relative to the person they are. Sure, they can tell you the hard time they're having right now and you can laugh in your head and think 'THAT?! THAT'S your hard time?! That's nothing!" But to them it might mean everything. And to them it might be the worst pain they've ever experienced. Who are you to judge their pain and hard times? Moral? EVERYONE has issues and EVERYONE has hard times in life. You are not alone.
The next thing I really began to think about was why these people seem to be successful and not bogged down by their hard times. Why are these people balanced, poised and generally the people I look up to wellness wise? I noticed a few common themes... 1. They don't compare their lives to other people... BECAUSE 2. They understand that their pain is relative to themselves and no one else and that everyone has hard times. and the most important common theme...3. They're GRATEFUL. Grateful for what they have and counting their blessings everyday. Knowing that if they let their negative attitude take over they could easily lose it all.
I found a really good article by: Rich Bayer, Ph.D. called Gratitude and Mental Wellness
Check that out here:
"Can gratitude improve the way we feel? Here’s an experiment you can try. Take a moment right
now to be grateful for what you have. Think of everything you have or think of something
specific such as your family, your house, enough food for today, or simply being alive.
After taking this moment, how do you feel? If you’re like most people, you’re feeling a little
more peaceful.
The dictionary defines gratitude as a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. We’re grateful
when we’re conscious of a benefit received. It implies a sense of wonder and appreciation for the
world around us, and is usually directed to someone or something else.
Gratitude is the focus of our Thanksgiving holiday. It also plays a strong role during the
Christmas season if we can stop the hustle and bustle long enough to be thankful for each gift we
have received.
In addition, we often express gratitude simply by being courteous. From an early age, most of us
are taught to say, “thank you” whenever someone does something nice for us.
Research on Gratitude
Recent psychological research shows that gratitude plays an important role in our happiness, our
healthy adjustment to life, and even in our physical well-being. Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr.
Michael McCollough describe some of these studies in their recently published book, The
Psychology of Gratitude.
First the authors note the difficulty in actually defining gratitude. It can be an emotion, an
attitude, a moral value, a habit, a personality trait, or a coping response. Their research focused
on gratitude as an emotion.
Curiously enough however, Emmons and McCollough note that, before we can feel gratitude as
an emotion, we have to be able to think about it. They identified three main components that we
think about when we feel gratitude: 1) recognition that we have obtained a positive benefit, 2)
that the benefit has come from an outside source (usually another person), and 3) the benefit was
not necessarily earned or deserved.
In scientific experiments, individuals were asked to keep track of their experiences of gratitude.
While participating in these experiments, the individuals noticed some positive changes. They
reported more optimism, fewer physical symptoms, better sleep, more progress on their own
personal goals, higher levels of positive states such as alertness, enthusiasm, and determination,
fewer negative states (such as bitterness, sadness, and fear), and were more likely to report
having helped someone else.
Gratitude and Mental Wellness
Perhaps more interesting, Emmons and McCollough found that this experiment actually boosted gratitude in those who participated. In other words, when individuals are asked to keep track of their experiences of gratitude, they actually experience more gratitude as well as the positive changes associated with it.
These researchers also studied people who were considered to have a grateful disposition and
found that they were more positive, were more empathic of others, tended to be more spiritual,
were more likely to attend religious services, and were less focused on material possessions.
Counting Your Blessings
So what does this mean? It means that there is some truth to the old adage about counting one's
blessings. People who count their blessings are happier and healthier. By spending more time
being grateful, we become a better friend and better community member. We also become more
appreciated by our friends. By increasing our gratefulness toward others, we can help to
strengthen our families and communities.
What is equally powerful, Emmons and McCollough showed, is that gratitude can be taught and
learned, practiced and applied. Gratitude implies that we recognize the help we get from others.
No matter how much we do for ourselves, we can remain aware and acknowledge whenever
someone else has helped us.
One way to improve our sense of gratitude is to simply be aware of it. We can use this approach
to teach our children about gratitude as well. Children will learn when parents pay attention to
situations in which they have benefited from the help of others. It’s pretty simple. When parents
model gratitude, children learn.
Dr. Emmons emphasizes that gratitude is a choice that we make. How readily we express
gratitude is based on our personal habits and our attitude toward life. By being more attentive to
opportunities to express gratitude we increase the opportunity to feel it, and obtain the benefits of
that experience.
Saying "thank you" not only improves the day for the person you thank, it improves your day
too. Thank you for allowing me to share this column with you.
------------------------------------
Rich Bayer, Ph.D., is the CEO of Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc. and a
practicing psychologist.
For more information contact Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc., 200 Booth
Street, Elkton, MD 21921, 410-996-3400. All rights reserved.
Copyright 2004"
So there it is people. Live and speak gratitude! It's an important aspect to wellness and positive living! Make the effort to make yourself better and be that person you stare at wondering how they do it all and keep themselves together! Remember that mental wellness is a large part of your physical wellness.
One thing I'm starting to incorporate into my life is a gratitude journal. Every night I right down what i'm grateful for as well as a prayer for my life. So far it's really helped me focus on the good things and that helps me deal with the bad things.
In health! xoxo,
Nikki
So, I think it's a pretty well known fact that life isn't always easy. Actually, I think that life is NEVER easy...there is always challenges and areas where we're forced to grow due to some not so nice situations. Some of us maybe have less or more of those situations and to the person on the outside looking in it may look easy (or hard). Let me make one thing clear...It's not easy. EVERYONE deals with things. Yes, it's true. Life isn't easy and life isn't fair. That's the rule.
I've been doing a lot of thinking on why it looks easier for others. It's frustrating for me (i'm human!) to think that other have it easier than me and how it's just NOT fair. I did a little soul searching and I did a lot of thinking..
Why? Why is it that when you approach one of these people you think have an easy life and tell them they have it all together they laugh at you. Yes, they LAUGH. Because the truth is...they don't. They have strife and hard times too. Not only was that a shocking revelation to me...the next thought that followed was even more ground breaking...the "hard times" and "strife" they consume is relative to the person they are. Sure, they can tell you the hard time they're having right now and you can laugh in your head and think 'THAT?! THAT'S your hard time?! That's nothing!" But to them it might mean everything. And to them it might be the worst pain they've ever experienced. Who are you to judge their pain and hard times? Moral? EVERYONE has issues and EVERYONE has hard times in life. You are not alone.
The next thing I really began to think about was why these people seem to be successful and not bogged down by their hard times. Why are these people balanced, poised and generally the people I look up to wellness wise? I noticed a few common themes... 1. They don't compare their lives to other people... BECAUSE 2. They understand that their pain is relative to themselves and no one else and that everyone has hard times. and the most important common theme...3. They're GRATEFUL. Grateful for what they have and counting their blessings everyday. Knowing that if they let their negative attitude take over they could easily lose it all.
I found a really good article by: Rich Bayer, Ph.D. called Gratitude and Mental Wellness
Check that out here:
"Can gratitude improve the way we feel? Here’s an experiment you can try. Take a moment right
now to be grateful for what you have. Think of everything you have or think of something
specific such as your family, your house, enough food for today, or simply being alive.
After taking this moment, how do you feel? If you’re like most people, you’re feeling a little
more peaceful.
The dictionary defines gratitude as a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation. We’re grateful
when we’re conscious of a benefit received. It implies a sense of wonder and appreciation for the
world around us, and is usually directed to someone or something else.
Gratitude is the focus of our Thanksgiving holiday. It also plays a strong role during the
Christmas season if we can stop the hustle and bustle long enough to be thankful for each gift we
have received.
In addition, we often express gratitude simply by being courteous. From an early age, most of us
are taught to say, “thank you” whenever someone does something nice for us.
Research on Gratitude
Recent psychological research shows that gratitude plays an important role in our happiness, our
healthy adjustment to life, and even in our physical well-being. Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr.
Michael McCollough describe some of these studies in their recently published book, The
Psychology of Gratitude.
First the authors note the difficulty in actually defining gratitude. It can be an emotion, an
attitude, a moral value, a habit, a personality trait, or a coping response. Their research focused
on gratitude as an emotion.
Curiously enough however, Emmons and McCollough note that, before we can feel gratitude as
an emotion, we have to be able to think about it. They identified three main components that we
think about when we feel gratitude: 1) recognition that we have obtained a positive benefit, 2)
that the benefit has come from an outside source (usually another person), and 3) the benefit was
not necessarily earned or deserved.
In scientific experiments, individuals were asked to keep track of their experiences of gratitude.
While participating in these experiments, the individuals noticed some positive changes. They
reported more optimism, fewer physical symptoms, better sleep, more progress on their own
personal goals, higher levels of positive states such as alertness, enthusiasm, and determination,
fewer negative states (such as bitterness, sadness, and fear), and were more likely to report
having helped someone else.
Gratitude and Mental Wellness
Perhaps more interesting, Emmons and McCollough found that this experiment actually boosted gratitude in those who participated. In other words, when individuals are asked to keep track of their experiences of gratitude, they actually experience more gratitude as well as the positive changes associated with it.
These researchers also studied people who were considered to have a grateful disposition and
found that they were more positive, were more empathic of others, tended to be more spiritual,
were more likely to attend religious services, and were less focused on material possessions.
Counting Your Blessings
So what does this mean? It means that there is some truth to the old adage about counting one's
blessings. People who count their blessings are happier and healthier. By spending more time
being grateful, we become a better friend and better community member. We also become more
appreciated by our friends. By increasing our gratefulness toward others, we can help to
strengthen our families and communities.
What is equally powerful, Emmons and McCollough showed, is that gratitude can be taught and
learned, practiced and applied. Gratitude implies that we recognize the help we get from others.
No matter how much we do for ourselves, we can remain aware and acknowledge whenever
someone else has helped us.
One way to improve our sense of gratitude is to simply be aware of it. We can use this approach
to teach our children about gratitude as well. Children will learn when parents pay attention to
situations in which they have benefited from the help of others. It’s pretty simple. When parents
model gratitude, children learn.
Dr. Emmons emphasizes that gratitude is a choice that we make. How readily we express
gratitude is based on our personal habits and our attitude toward life. By being more attentive to
opportunities to express gratitude we increase the opportunity to feel it, and obtain the benefits of
that experience.
Saying "thank you" not only improves the day for the person you thank, it improves your day
too. Thank you for allowing me to share this column with you.
------------------------------------
Rich Bayer, Ph.D., is the CEO of Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc. and a
practicing psychologist.
For more information contact Upper Bay Counseling and Support Services, Inc., 200 Booth
Street, Elkton, MD 21921, 410-996-3400. All rights reserved.
Copyright 2004"
So there it is people. Live and speak gratitude! It's an important aspect to wellness and positive living! Make the effort to make yourself better and be that person you stare at wondering how they do it all and keep themselves together! Remember that mental wellness is a large part of your physical wellness.
One thing I'm starting to incorporate into my life is a gratitude journal. Every night I right down what i'm grateful for as well as a prayer for my life. So far it's really helped me focus on the good things and that helps me deal with the bad things.
In health! xoxo,
Nikki
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